Wilson Representin' Philanthropy
by Major Xero
Summary: Sequel to Wilson from the Hood. Based on the MGS2 script. Rated T for teen for crude language and odd themes.


_Preword: Hello all, this is Major Xero starting up another "Wilson from the Hood" fan fiction. This is a sequel to the last one, with Wilson replacing Otacon as the saving contact in Metal Gear Solid 2. Sooner or later, anyway...oh, and when I submit these, they're hard to read because they don't allow quad-spaces. I originally quadruple-space everything so it's easier to read, but...alas...anyway, have fun!_

Snake: I'm happy as long as no one gives me any more unwanted gifts.

Otacon: You mean that thing with Naomi?

Snake: And I can't say I miss the pompous asshole.

Otacon: Wilson's not so bad. That reminds me, I have to get in touch with him again about that new Natik flashware.

Snake: Diverting toys from the SSCEN (U.S. Army Soldier Systems Center) again? Give him a message from me: someone will find out sooner or later. He's better off assuming it's sooner and quit while he's safe.

Otacon: Too true. Okay, Snake, let's get to work...

Otacon: Snake, you of course know the saying "One for all, all for one."

Snake: What is this, all of a sudden?

Otacon: Oh, I figured you'd need a lot of motivation, so I came prepared. It's from 'The Three Musketeers' -- the book, not the candy bar. Anyway, it means that if you go up against everyone by yourself, they'll gang up on you too. I think. Since you're on your own on that ship, you need to take this to heart and avoid confrontations. How was that? Just like the old days, huh?

Snake: All you'd needed to sound like Wilson is to say "bitch" or "fuckin'" every other word, but...you sure you got it right?

Otacon: Of course! And I'll teach you a lot more of these, you can count on it.

Snake: Great...

Otacon: Okay... There's a saying that goes "Even a bird on high dies a glutton's death, as do the fish of The Deeps." The lesson is -- er, don't be greedy. The fish that belonged to a family called the Deeps died from overfeeding, and so did a bird that got high on something -- probably fermented fruit.

Snake: ...Okay. If you say so.

Otacon: I do, Snake. Don't take unnecessary risks just because you're greedy for more Items. Remember the Deep family's fish.

Otacon: Another Chinese proverb: "Those who look to the Heavens prosper, those who defy it are no more." Do you know this one? The meaning here is -- hold on a sec -- that you can only survive as long as you're a part of the natural order of things. You remember pre-ripped jeans? Manufacturers thought that just because people loved old, broken-in jeans, they would want to buy new jeans that looked old. So they purposefully --

Snake: What do jeans have to do with nature and order?

Wilson, cutting in: Not a damn thing. I'm sorry Otacon but you fucked up big time on about three proverbs. Shit, son! At least I can say this one. "Hardest won, most easily lost." It means that people earn their money through hard work, but that's the easiest thing to lose. Just 'cause you a hard worker and get $18.50 an hour doesn't mean you can spend it all on Ho-Hos and Twinkies. Be smart, yo? Always keep what you earn and never let it slip away. On the battlefield it means if you pick up 80 USP rounds, should you be any less ammunition-conservative if you had 10? That's dumb. Keep what you got, alright Snake? And sorry Otacon, but after seeing your ass soil the name of the Chinese, I'm gonna take over from here saving Snake's shit, alright?

Otacon: Uh, alright I guess.

Wilson: Oh and Snake, the "pompous asshole" is back.

Wilson: "Those who are lost never question a path, and a drowning man doubts not the shallows." It means if the goin' gets rough and you see a way out, pounce on that opportunity bitch!

Wilson: Snake, you heard of this one? "One forgets the hurt once the wound has healed." It means Snake, that if you've been banged up before, it don't matter once it heals up, 'cause you ain't gonna feel a damn thing so you have no reason to act like an asshole.

Wilson: Snake, I told you back in Shadow Moses two years ago that the "cautious seldom err." Another way to say it is "Care avoids err." If you always take a step back, analyze the situation, look around, THEN go ahead you'll be fine. But if you chargin' into a room you don't know about, you're a dumbass. Plain and simple.

Wilson: "Evil is human nature, and his entire being, falseness." It was in Original Sin. It has the concept that we're all evil-ass motherfuckers when we're born, so we have to work twice as hard to be good. So come on, Snake. Prove to us that you're willing to bust those fuckin' lame ass Marines for the greater good.

Snake: Uh, alright.

Wilson: Snake, I'm sure you've heard of Achilles and Paris. Two bas-ass motherfuckers. Cocky assholes. But in time, even Achilles, a great and virtually immortal hero was finally served his shit by Paris. He thought he was all that and he got his SHIT RUINED. So don't be all thinkin' "Hey, I'm the greatest mercenary that ever lived, I can take out twenty people with 10 rounds!" No, bitch, you can't. The mission can back up and fuck your asshole raw with your own cockiness. See yourself for what you are, dig?

Wilson: Ya know Snake, there's a saying. "Acquaintances agree. Friends argue." This has quite a few meanings, but the one most relevant to your situation is that you shouldn't do anything to piss people off. You're one soldier, no matter how good, in a tanker full of assholes. So piss them off and you're basically saying "Hi, blow my brains out." It means if you get captured again, don't give 'em a reason to blow you away. It also means that friends are exactly what they are -- open and honest with each other. It seems odd, but friends are more willing to argue than some dude you just saw across the street. Ya know, you're afraid he might have a gun in his pants or somethin'.

Wilson: "Those who walk a hundred leagues think not that their journey is half ended until the ninetieth league." Know what it means? You've got a long mission ahead of you, Snake. Don't think it's almost over until you KNOW you're about finish it. Focus on the mission 'til you're out, yo?

Wilson: "A frog in a well knows not of the great ocean."

Snake: Hey, I don't like this one at all. Trapping a little frog in a well? That sucks, that's really cruel. This is a terrible saying, and I don't like it at all. Poor little froggy...!

Wilson: ...Snake, please tell me you haven't been poppin' pills or doin' acid before the mission.

Snake: ...No.

Wilson: Snake, it means that your mind shouldn't be stuck in a well. Keep your mind open, ever expanding. THEN you'll be able to conquer every situation that presents itself.

Wilson: A Chinese proverb. "Scholars hold in esteem knowledge, not acts." Keep your mind out of the gutter, Snake. Adjudicate every situation only to what is needed. If the situation requires intelligence and strategy, think about it, bitch! If it necessitates brute force, go blazin'!

Wilson: Snake, it's "Better to be first among roosters than last among bulls." If trouble's coming; run, bitch! Don't wait around hoping that the enemy won't see you. Start running as soon as you can.


End file.
